Peanut butter and bread. Noel and Liam Gallagher. Drinking and soccer. There are just some things in life that just go great with one another. On their own they are okay, maybe even fine. But combined they create something that so amazing that words cannot do justice to.
So with MLS Cup Playoff Conference Finals imminent your friends at Radio Cascadia, Radio MLS, and Prost Amerika have decided to go one step further with the final pairing and create the ultimate drinking game. In the style of games like the Oscars drinking game, the Presidential debate drinking game, and of course the grandfather of all event drinking games, the Royal Rumble, we present to you: The MLS Cup Playoffs Drinking Challenge!
Rules for the game are below. Fans can either choose to follow both sets of rules or break them up into teams. And as always make sure to never drink and drive.
Want to play but not exactly thrilled at the prospect of drinking alone? You can play along on Twitter with Matt Hoffman and Sean Maslin of Radio MLS, Radio Cascadia, and Prost Amerika all evening for leg one on Tuesday night. If we survive we will be back again next Sunday (Seattle-Colorado) or Wednesday (thanks a lot, Toronto Argonauts).
General rules for both games
ONE SECOND DRINK
- Save by the goalkeeper
- Corner kicks
- Goal kicks
- Throw ins
- Free kicks
- Offside or foul called
- Alexi Lalas or Taylor Twellman grasp at straws.
- Chivas USA reference
- Announcer mentions U.S. Men’s National Team
- A curse word is heard on the telecast
- Landon Donovan reference
- Rob Stone makes a wrestling reference
- Promotion/Relegation is mentioned
- Any time anyone says “narrative”
TWO SECOND DRINK
- Yellow cards
- Penalty kick awarded
- Substitutions
- Goals
- Bicycle kick is attempted
FIVE SECOND DRINK
- If a goal is scored in injury time at either half
- Penalty kick goal (regulation only)
FINISH DRINK
- Someone scores on an Olimpico or a scorpion kick or attempts a cartwheel throw-in
- Mascot fight
- Supporter runs onto the pitch
- If Radio Cascadia, Radio MLS, or Prost Amerika are mentioned on air (we would be as surprised as much as you would)
Eastern Conference Finals- Montreal Impact v Toronto FC (11/22 8pm EST, ESPN, TSN1, TSN3, RDS)
ONE SECOND DRINK
- Camera points to Drogba on the bench
- Announcers mention that this is a Canadian derby
- Crowd boos a call made by the referee
TWO SECOND DRINK
- The Montreal Expos are mentioned
- An English announcer attempts to say a phrase in French (Let’s just assume this goes poorly)
- Any discussion around the broader implications for Canadian soccer
FIVE SECOND DRINK
- Laurent Ciman foul
- Drew Moor foul
- Hockey reference is dropped
- Don Garber punts on live air as to why Canadian players are considered as international players
FINISH DRINK
- Youppi makes an appearance
- Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau makes an appearance
Western Conference Finals- Colorado Rapids v Seattle Sounders (10PM EST/7PM PST FS1, TSN1, TSN3, RDS2)
ONE SECOND DRINK
- Announcers mention Tim Howard is missing
- Lodeiro dribbles past a defender
- Instances of the exact phrase “interim tag”
TWO SECOND DRINK
- Positive attacking contribution from Nelson Valdez (excluding goals)
- Rapids centerback heads ball in Seattle 18 yard box
- Any mention of Mastroeni’s gone-but-not-forgotten moustache
- Reckless Alonso challenge
FIVE SECOND DRINK
- ALL Rapids goals. Seriously, they only had 39 this year
- Hell, all Rapids goals against! Only 33 in the regular season, one so far in the postseason
- Seattle fans start “Seattle Sounders” call-repeat
- >2/3 of Rapids fans in attendance stand for >1 min. consecutively (2nd leg only)
FINISH DRINK
- Nelson Valdez goals
- Lodeiro free kick goals
- Assists/goals from Marco Pappa
- Joevin Jones subs off the field – History tells us he’s either getting the hook or a standing ovation
- Rapids score >1 in a match, excluding ET (Only happened 10 of 34 matches in regular season)
NOTE: Hardcore Mode: All goal-related drinks are additive. Ex: Pappa assists on Sjoberg header that puts Rapids up 2-0 is second second drink + five second drink + finish drink + finish drink = two full drinks + seven second drink