Let’s be honest here: us American soccer fans/supporters/avid followers of the game/folks who have nothing better to do on Saturday night have been through the ringer this last year. With the USMNT not qualifying for the World Cup, a U.S. Soccer Presidential process that was…something, soccer journalists losing their jobs due to industry cutbacks, and the NASL suing U.S. Soccer it has been a rather tumultuous time in these United States. It hasn’t always been easy to have a glass half full perspective on things especially when it seems as if everyday there is some other piece of terrible news.
So over the past couple of months yours truly has tried to do something different to think of ways on how to improve my own experience of enjoying the game. Around January or so I created an eighteen point plan to better enjoy the game. Here are my goals and a little bit of reason for why each is important to me:
To not write instant analysis pieces. In other words: you will not see a player rating or a lengthy hot take from this reporter. If that is someone else’s cup of tea go for it. But the idea that everything requires an instant reaction, an instant piece of analysis is wrong. There is always time to formulate cogent thoughts and create compelling arguments. Also, I still have no idea on how to make a GIF nor do I really want to.
To spend less than one hour a day on social media. I have been trying the ‘less is more’ approach on Facebook and Twitter this year and it sits better with me. Social media can be an awesome tool to gain knowledge, engage in fun discussions, and to occasionally meet new and interesting people. But it can also be a black hole and the more time you spend on it, the less hopeful you feel about humanity. I am going to take this moment to dispel some nasty Twitter rumors since I have the floor:
- Messi doesn’t suck
- Ronaldo doesn’t suck
- Don Garber isn’t a member of the Illuminati, a lizard person, or the flat Earth society.
- Not every American soccer player ‘slips through the cracks’. Some just aren’t good.
- Thomas Rongen does look good in a bow tie.
- The cookies in the D.C. United media room are as good as Isadora Vasconcelos and I describe them.
By the way, thank you Twitter for increasing the character count to 160. There was nothing more annoying than trying to sum a nuanced (or semi-, depending upon who you ask) thought and being cut off. Can you now work on the Russian bots?
To spend more than one hour a day teaching or coaching younger players about the finer arts of the game.
To spend more time at pubs with supporters. There is something to sitting at a dank, drab bar with 10-20 other people in a array of different European club jerseys from different eras bantering about the match and the general state of affairs. Plus, it is a good excuse to ample coffee and possibly a stout.
To learn how to play the FIFA video games beyond the Amateur mode. Quick sidebar: I actually had a bit of a meta moment this winter playing as D.C. United in FIFA 2018 when I as the vaunted coach Mister Mister had to go to their press conference and take questions. Sadly there was no video game version of me, just a list of generic, boring questions. My fifteen minutes of fame being dashed notwithstanding video game soccer is a completely different version of the game than the one we play on the pitch (no heelflicks).
To read every great book written about the beautiful game Perhaps it is because I spend most of my day ordering children to read or perhaps it is just because I enjoy the occasional papercut. Whatever the reason I would like to get back into reading more books about the beautiful game. The last one that I really read was Soccer in Sun and Shadow by Eduardo Galeano which perhaps might be why I stopped reading soccer books a few years back. It is kind of hard to top that.
To learn Spanish There are two reasons for this: 1.) It would help snag more interviews as many players do not speak English and not every team has an interpreter and 2.) I do feel at times as if I am only talking to a small slice of the American soccer population. During my sabbatical I was listening to perhaps one of the most widely circulated sports podcasts and I was dismayed to hear the panelists mention the negative impact of the United States missing the World Cup but yet completely gloss over Mexico’s impact on American soccer.
To strengthen my understanding of the French language. I took several years of French in college and in high school (fun fact: My French name was Zidane) and aside from a couple of interviews or a couple of articles I have really yet to use it. This kind of ties in to number seven in that feels our industry is missing out on some great stories and we are using the language barrier as a crutch. We need to stop doing that. I try to ask my staff all of the day to get out of their comfort zones when it comes to creating stories. I think I need to take my own advice on this one.
To find a good retro soccer jersey shop. The best soccer jersey shop I have ever been to was a ‘tobacco’ paraphernalia store in Westminser, Maryland. Although I never figured out why a ‘tobacco’ store also sold soccer jerseys I didn’t really care because I was able to snag vintage AC Milan, Germany, and Fiorentina jerseys for five dollars each. Perhaps a store like this now only exists in the internet but I am on the hunt to find one.
To update my refereeing credentials. I used to be a referee when I was in middle/high school and aside from a few hair raising moments (like when a rather large, angry coach got mad at me for asking his side to take it easy on the other team. They were up 21-2) it was a pretty enjoyable experience. But for some reason at some point I stopped. While I am not sure if I want to go back to refereeing actual matches I do want to learn more about the game from the technical side and from as unbiased a side as possible.
To make a World Cup cookbook. The CONCACAF Cookbook was probably the most fun I have ever had in this medium. Sure, some of the recipes did not turn out as planned (La Feroc D’Avocat was a fierce recipe) but it was fun and especially with a tournament like the CONCACAF Gold Cup where the main story would have otherwise been Florent Malouda it was nice to talk and learn about soccer and culture in the region. So get excited for some World Cup cooking.
To attend more NPSL, PDL, and MASL matches. FC Frederick, Motorik FC Alexandria, Baltimore Blast, FC Columbia, FC Baltimore, and Christos FC get excited about having more match coverage this season.
To find a good recreation league in the Frederick area. If anyone is looking for a 32 year old goalkeeper that has a mean left foot, a good right arm, and is more likely to praise his defenders than go off on a Tim Howard tirade email me at managers@prostamerika.com.
To listen to more soccer podcasts. Somewhere along the line my playlist of soccer podcasts went from a large array of diverse voices to the BBC World Football Phone In and the Total Soccer Show. While both shows are undoubtedly fantastic pieces of work it does feel at times that they are a bit limiting. I think switching professions may have had something to do with it.When one works teaching the leaders of tomorrow there just isn’t the same amount of time to listen to cooler, smaller podcasts. I do miss having the chance to hear different voices from different parts of the country and the world. If anyone has a good podcast that they can recommend send them below.
To figure out a way to talk about the nuances of the game without using the tired ‘Oh he or she’s a number *insert random number*’? The number device in soccer is basically the wine equivalent of sifting the glass to look at the oils. Ninety percent of the time people have no idea what they are saying but hey they have heard someone else use that series of phrases so it must be true. So rather than becoming a poor man’s Jonathan Wilson I think I am going to become the best Sean Maslin I can be.
To go to a German Beer garden for one Bundesliga match. This kind of ties in with another resolution on this list but is a little more specific because it is tied directly to one of my favorite soccer-related experiences in the past ten years or so. When I lived in D.C. I would every so often watch a match a local German bar with my brother and his son. The chance to sit down, have a pint or coffee, a giant German pretzel, and watch some soccer with the fellows was probably by far one of the most enlightening soccer experiences that I have had mostly because my nephew had so many questions. Plus there was German techno polka involved which was a sight to behold.
To figure out if that device from when I was a kid where you put the ball in a net and juggle it in place using a rope still exists. My brother and I certainly weren’t the only kids to have one of these. It made every kid feel like they could be the next Bebeto. The first to find it wins a Prost No-Prize.
To enjoy every moment of the season. Make no mistake about it. Covering a team for an entire season is a fucking grind. But when you realize that many folks don’t get the privileges that you do and that there are media organizations that won’t credential reporters then you realize you have a pretty sweet gig. I get to talk to players, coaches, and media people (yes, even they can be a joy to work with once I figure out their byzantine policies) about soccer. That’s a pretty cool thing and that my nephew seems to think its cool makes its even better.
So with that in mind enjoy your soccer weekend.
