London Calling is weekly column covering football in the English capital
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When Roy Hodgson stepped aside as England manager after crashing out of Euro 2016 with a disappointing performance versus perceived minnows Iceland, many England fans took solace in the thought that the “embarrassing” defeat would open the door for a new era in English football. What followed, unfortunately, was even more embarrassing than England’s exit from the European Championships.
Roy Hodgson’s exit was so fast that he must have already had his speech prepared before the game, hell, he likely had it drawn up before the tournament started as his contract was set to expire shortly afterward. His press conference spoke volumes about how useless he is as a coach, and manager of any level team. “These things happen” bleated Hodgson, except they don’t — not to a nation perceived to be as good as England are at soccer.
The next day Hodgson was “strong armed” into another press conference. Hodgson whined that he “wasn’t the England manager anymore,” and “wasn’t sure” why he was asked to be there. Forget the problems that the Argentinian FA is having right now regarding corruption, because between a whining outgoing manager, and an organization as all over the place as the English Football Association we can assure you — all eyes are on England’s dumpster fire right now.
So incompetent as the English Football Association are they appointed a man in Martin Glenn whom felt the need twice in his press conference regarding England’s search for a new manager that he “isn’t a football expert.”
Glenn did say that the English FA would only consider candidates whom were the best possible coach for the team, explaining that the coach could be foreign. It should’ve been a no brainer that the best coaches in the world aren’t English, and England’s national teams most successful periods of late were underneath an Italian manager and a Swedish one.
From the fire, there comes a silver lining — the best man will get the job, the right man will get the job, there will be someone in-charge of England that can harness the raw talent of its young Lions.
But then Gareth Southgate, England’s Under 21’s manager, announced he didn’t want the job. The FA had obviously been counting on Southgate to step up and now the search turned elsewhere. There was talk of managers like Steve Bruce, Sam Allardyce, Eddie Howe, and Harry Redknapp, uninspiring choices that seemed more like stop-gaps than long-term hires. Not only that, none of those managers were really any good.
For five fleeting minutes the English press was littered with stories of Jurgen Klinsmann, the US Men’s National Team coach and technical director, assuming the vacant England manager’s post. But Fox Sports’ Alexi Lalas confirmed what many were already thinking pretty quickly, that The English FA had not contacted USSF regarding permission to speak with the German. He was going nowhere.
Yet rumors of Klinsmann continued to swirl, and swirl, and swirl, all the while actual news of Sam Allardyce of Sunderland being interviewed for the job flew under the radar. Most likely felt it was just a courtesy interview after “Big Sam” had expressed a desire to coach his home nation.
Now, on the eve of the “Big Sam” reign in English football, it’s been written that if the manager had to be English (it didn’t), then Sam Allardyce is the best English manager for the job. One has to ask…. are they serious?
Remember when you had to be the best — or almost the best — coach in the nation to be afforded the opportunity of being an international manager? Failing that, you’d have to have at least accomplished something. Now? Sam Allardyce gets to be England manager.
Allardyce is a man known for keeping clubs from being relegated from their division. He is, essentially, a crisis management expert. It could be argued that is what English football needs right now, crisis management, but honestly it’s Allardyce’s hire that will likely plunge English football deeper into crisis.
His style of football? He doesn’t have one. His teams are physical, dirty, and they pump balls up to a large target-man esque striker. While that may be a welcome change form the failed tiki-taka experiment of recent years, you have to wonder what kind of players he’ll call up. Furthermore, would the more technical “bigger name” players respect a man like Sam Allardyce?
The assertion that Allardyce is the best English manager to manage the English team right now is also preposterous. Managers who have better career win percentages, and similar or better managerial accolades, than Allardyce are as follows:
Alan Pardew; Sean Dyche, Eddie Howe (whom rejected, albeit informally, the job); Nigel Pearson; even Simon Grayson, Chris Hughton (Irish), and Alex Neil (Scottish) have better claims to the English throne than “Big Sam.”
Is the aforementioned list a list of quality managers? No — and therein lies the problem. For years now people have written about, talked about, and complained in bars about the lack of UEFA licensed coaches in England compared with the rest of the world.
England as of 2014 had 1,395 coaches that were UEFA A or Pro licensed coaches. Italy had 2,281; France 3,308; Germany 6,934; and Spain? A huge 15,423. After the defeat to Iceland it was written that England had roughly a 1:10,000 ratio regarding UEFA licensed coaches to players, Iceland has roughly 1:500.
Frankly? It shows.
What this young England team needs to flourish is a manager who is a keen tactical mind. This young England team had flashes of brilliance at Euro 2016, but most of the time? They looked like they lacked any idea about what they were doing tactically.
Players are responsible for performances on the pitch, sure, but managers? They’re responsible for getting the best out of those players. Managers are responsible for making sure that everybody knows their role, how to do it, and what the consequences from deviating from that role are.
There are not any British coaches up to that task right now, and that is a massive indictment on the English Football Association.
“But it’s all we’ve got” is not an excuse for continuing mediocrity. If this isn’t the final straw for English football to become a complete laughing stock across the world, then what is it?
I’m at a loss for words for how English football’s reputation could possibly get any worse from here.
